Ponder

I had made a lot of poems, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not compose a poem for my mom and dad. It was not because I didn't care about them, but because I couldn't bear the pain of remembering that I grew up in a family so broken.

It had been nine years since I last spent time with my mom, and eight years since the last time I had been with my dad. I spent almost half of my life without them, and if there was one thing I wished for, that would be for us to be together even for a day. 

We communicated through phone and the Internet, but something was always missing. Sometimes it felt like I'm the outsider. 

When I was a little girl, I had always wanted to have a complete family. Having two parents and siblings. But as I grew up, I realized that the simplest things we wanted in life were sometimes the hardest to achieve. 

Like any other children who came from a broken family, I did hope for my parents to give themselves a second chance, but somehow I gave up. Maybe they were really not meant for each other. There were even times that I had to ask myself if they had considered me as the biggest mistake of their lives. Then I'd just cry. 

I often wondered what had gone wrong. Did they just fell out of love? What was their love story then? I wanted to ask my mom for several times before, but it would mean bringing back the pain, so I remained silent. If it was possible to travel through time, I would go back to the moment they both decided to give up. 

It pained me so much seeing mom marry another man, and my dad in another woman's arms. Life was so unfair. 

It had been a long time now, and all the scars had healed. I didn't want to be selfish by remaining unhappy. Truth hurts, but it was the pain that made me stronger. To my mom: I know I had failed you many times, but you never gave up on me. You had always been my yardstick. To dad: I had always been bitter about you, but now I understood. Thank you both for everything. 

Mom, dad... I love you. 

Flipped

Hi blog! It's been a while since I posted something, and just now I'm having a chat with my friend. Why do people want to share their love problems to me? :) I'm still glad though because they trust me.

I will share another poem to you, and I hope someone can relate to it... 

Flipped 

Boy 

If loving you means breaking the rules, then I'll secretly break the rules for now 

If loving you means keeping my feelings inside, then I'll keep it to myself just as how I keep a vow 

If loving you means letting go, then I'll let you go but I'll wait till we're both ready 

If loving you means living in pain, then I'll swallow my pride and pray that someday things will be steady. 

Girl 

If loving you means seeing you from afar, then I'll continuously watch the view from a distance

If loving you means waiting for a star to fall, then I'll stay awake all night to take my chance 

If loving you means choosing between wrong and right, then I'll choose whichever of the two for as long you're at my side 

If loving you means drowning  myself with tears, then I'll drown with it coz loving you is something I cannot hide. 

Boy 

If waiting means having you, then you are worth the wait 

If waiting means hearing the loud voice of my conscience, then I'll wish in a star for the things never to be late 

If waiting means seeing you wait in pain, then we'll both bear the pain and just wait for the right time 

If waiting means choosing what is right, then I guess I should wait for the time I can call you mine. 

Girl 

If waiting means having you, then I'll wait comes rain or shine

If waiting means hearing all their criticism, then I'll be deaf for as long as you'll be mine 

If waiting means accepting the pain, then I'll hurt myself to prove the things my love can do 

If waiting means forgetting the world, then I'll create a world where there is only me and you. 

Some Thoughts

I took these photos last weekend. This particular necklace reminded me of many things... 

...

• It’s so crazy, you walked into the room that day, just like every other day except this time my heart skipped a beat.

Friendship

I still couldn't think of any other article that I could post in my blog aside from this article I made last night for my Effective Writing class. Perhaps, I could add something more interesting later today. I actually made a similar article during my high school years. I just added something here to make it longer and meaningful.

FRIENDS

Can you still remember the friends you had in the past? Can you still remember the precious moments you had together? Our world is full of changes. We tend to let go of some few things in order to discover new ones. Time continues to flow, and we have to go along with it. 

Every time we hear the word "friends", we would always think of those people close to us. People whom we may share our joys, tears, fears and pain. If true friends are hard to find, why do we sometimes take them for granted? Is it because they are many? Or is it because we can easily find a new one? 

In our journey to life, we meet different people, we make new acquaintances. Our friends today may no longer be our friends tomorrow, but is it really necessary to leave them for us to go on with life? 

If you consider yourself a true friend, you must learn the value of friendship. Friendship for me isn't just for the sake of having company. I believe that in friendship there should be care, understanding, honesty, faith and love. 

Can you imagine yourself leaving your friend in his/her time of despair?  Can you imagine yourself blaming your friend for his/her mistake instead of asking why he/she did it? Can you imagine yourself telling everybody else your friend's secrets? Can you imagine yourself turning down your friends hope because of your lack of faith? Can you imagine a life without someone to share it with? If you can't, indeed, you are a true friend. 

The saying "We've lost a diamond because we were too busy collecting stones" is true to some of us. Sometimes, it is when we lose something that we truly realize its value. We may measure the days, weeks, months and years, but true friendship is immeasurable. 

My So-Called Friend

I dedicate this poem to a friend...

I was looking for a friend and then I found you 

Someone who's honest, thoughtful and true 

Someone who doesn't seem to care but gives value 

And understands every little thing I do 

You can make me laugh even with your corniest joke 

You can make me wonder whenever you give that look 

You seem so tough and unaffected 

But I guess deep inside you're warm hearted 

A day is so boring without your company 

You seem to have awaken this evil side of me 

A lot of people say that I love poetry 

But this is my first time to write something funny 

I hate the fact that you will soon leave 

Coz you're the kind of friend I want to keep 

I know you've already decided no matter how I plead 

But I'm holding into your promise that we'll always be friends 

I'll miss the corny jokes that make me laugh 

I'll miss the conversations and all the stuff

I'll miss the songs we used to sing 

Coz when you're gone things will never be the same 

I guess some good things really don't last 

And everything will be left in the past 

Can true friend really exist in a world so vast? 

Or they are just here today and tomorrow gone so fast? 

If I could just turn back the time 

I'll go back to the day you seated two seats next to mine 

Coz that's when I realized how happy life could be 

To have a friend and that's what you are to me.