It had been nine years since I last spent time with my mom, and eight years since the last time I had been with my dad. I spent almost half of my life without them, and if there was one thing I wished for, that would be for us to be together even for a day.
We communicated through phone and the Internet, but something was always missing. Sometimes it felt like I'm the outsider.
When I was a little girl, I had always wanted to have a complete family. Having two parents and siblings. But as I grew up, I realized that the simplest things we wanted in life were sometimes the hardest to achieve.
Like any other children who came from a broken family, I did hope for my parents to give themselves a second chance, but somehow I gave up. Maybe they were really not meant for each other. There were even times that I had to ask myself if they had considered me as the biggest mistake of their lives. Then I'd just cry.
I often wondered what had gone wrong. Did they just fell out of love? What was their love story then? I wanted to ask my mom for several times before, but it would mean bringing back the pain, so I remained silent. If it was possible to travel through time, I would go back to the moment they both decided to give up.
It pained me so much seeing mom marry another man, and my dad in another woman's arms. Life was so unfair.
It had been a long time now, and all the scars had healed. I didn't want to be selfish by remaining unhappy. Truth hurts, but it was the pain that made me stronger. To my mom: I know I had failed you many times, but you never gave up on me. You had always been my yardstick. To dad: I had always been bitter about you, but now I understood. Thank you both for everything.
Mom, dad... I love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment